Brain hemorrhage recovery looked different for Dan McQueen, who woke from a four-week coma at 28 unable to speak or walk. He tells Jeremy Van Wert how he avoided what he calls the pity spiral, relearned to walk, and now teaches the AAA mindset: acknowledge, accept and adapt. This is one person's account, not medical advice.
ᛉKey takeaways
- Dan says he avoided what he calls the pity spiral by asking what he expected to happen next, since “it's not fair” does not help.
- He describes his AAA framework as acknowledge, accept and adapt, with acceptance as the step he believes matters most.
- Dan shortened the time to acceptance with each setback, from about two months to a month to an afternoon.
- A shift in perspective helped him: he came to see a rough London street as the best place to practice walking, because “if I can walk here, I can walk anywhere.”
- He moved from motivation based on proving people wrong to motivation based on serving others.
- His closing advice is not to compare your hardest thing to anyone else's, because it is the hardest thing you have been through.
ᛃ Moments in this one
ᚠBrain hemorrhage recovery: what happened to Dan McQueen
Dan McQueen was living in London in 2014 when headaches grew steadily worse over a few weeks. One day his vision faded from the sides and went dark for about three minutes. Tests at a hospital pointed to vertigo, and he was sent home, but the headaches came back.
At a routine eye appointment, the optometrist stopped the exam and handed Dan a sealed envelope to take straight to a hospital. Doctors found a dangerous build-up of pressure in his brain and told him he needed emergency surgery the next day.
While his mother was in the air flying to London, something went wrong during surgery and he had a massive bleed in the brain. He was in a coma for four weeks and in and out of consciousness for months. Jeremy's bio says Dan survived two brain surgeries and months of rehab, and relearned to walk, talk and smile again.
ᚢWaking up unable to speak or walk
When Dan woke, he could not talk because of a tracheotomy that affected his vocal cords. His parents had been told he might not speak again. He asked for a pen and paper and wrote a note asking his brother to get him out of there.
Dan credits a nurse with getting him talking. She pointed to kids playing soccer across the park and told him they did not think he was good enough to talk. He says he learned quickly that being told he cannot do something motivates him.
The physical part was not the only challenge. Dan says the social, ego and self-identity side was far harder, because he was a proud person and the injury knocked him on his backside.
ᚦAvoiding the pity spiral and finding a reason to keep going
Asked if he battled depression, Dan says he never got depressed because he avoided what he calls the pity spiral. “It's not fair” may be true, he says, but it will not help right now. He asks himself what he expects to have happen now.
At first his drive was spite. Dan says he has always been stubborn and loves proving people wrong, and he urges people to ride whatever wave of motivation comes, even a bitter one. Over time he saw its limit: after proving someone wrong, he says, the motivation disappears. After watching The Last Dance, he did not want to turn into a bitter person himself.
So he chose service. Dan says your success is his success, and that this intentional shift gave him sturdier motivation. If you want to explore how you respond when life turns upside down, the Mindful Mutiny community offers real conversation, live Fireside Chats and a course library.
ᚨLearning to walk again, and the street that changed his view
Dan says it took about five months before he started walking again. He moved from a walker to a cane and, after months in a wheelchair, practiced on a busy London high street. He also tells a long story about a leg splint and a call button, with the lesson that when things go sideways you should focus on how to resolve the issue.
He was jostled constantly, and for days he thought it was the worst place in the world to learn to walk. Then his perspective shifted. Maybe it was the best place, he decided, because if he could walk there, he could walk anywhere. He began to look forward to his walks.
Dan asks listeners what they are convinced is the worst thing in their lives and whether they can shift their view of it. He offers a compass, not a map: mindset, perspective and small hacks.
ᚱA second setback and starting over
About a year after the first injury, Dan was back at work three half days a week when he was found unconscious on the floor of his flat. He needed emergency brain surgery again. He says a blockage involving a shunt placed after the first injury was the cause, and that he had to relearn everything.
He calls it darker than the first. But he says he climbed back with a lot of intentional work and a lot of help, including his mom and the Wolfson rehabilitation team. Not everyone has that help, he notes, which is why mindset matters: nobody walks the corridor for you.
He had been giving talks to rehab outpatients and at work. The response was so positive that, after a corporate restructuring let him go, he decided to become a speaker.
ᚲThe AAA mindset: acknowledge, accept, adapt
Dan is building a keynote around the AAA framework. Acknowledge what happened, accept it and adapt by asking what you can do to improve or mitigate it. He pairs it with a stoic idea: control the controllables. If you can influence something, act on it. If not, let it go.
He says acceptance is the most important step and the hardest to hear. It may not be fair and it may not be your fault, he says, but it is your responsibility. He has shortened his own time to acceptance: about two months after the first setback, a month after the second, and an afternoon when he lost a job.
If you are working through a setback and want to talk about what comes next, Jeremy offers a private 30-minute consultation.
ᚷBig hairy goals, skiing again and learning to play
Dan told his rehab team from a wheelchair that he wanted to ski again. In 2022, ten years after the injury, he did. He says he visualized the goal for years, and his first run felt as though he had never missed a day.
He also uses play. His podcast, Play Loose, Tight, is his life mantra: play loose, but show up tight, meaning prepared and professional. Gamification helps, he says, because you can notice patterns in life and avoid the same obstacle, as in a racing game.
A brain scan came back shockingly average, which Dan reads as proof that he is no smarter than anyone else, only driven and focused. For more stories and ideas like this, you can read the free newsletter.
ᚹEgo, identity and the next step
Dan still has ongoing vision issues and wears an eye patch. He recalls a story of a boy in a thick wood who cannot see a way through, and a horse who asks if he can see his next step: just take that.
In his closing words, Dan says the hardest thing you have been through is the hardest thing you have been through, so do not compare. “Don't whine about it,” he says. “Be about it.”
Dan's story is one person's experience of recovery and isn't medical advice. Every brain injury is different. If you are worried about symptoms for yourself or someone else, please talk to a medical professional.
ᚨ Questions people ask
How long was Dan McQueen's brain hemorrhage recovery?
Dan says it took about five months before he started walking again, and he spent four weeks in a coma. This is one person's timeline, and he describes a second setback a year later that required him to start over.
What is the AAA mindset?
Dan's AAA framework is acknowledge, accept and adapt. He says accepting what happened, even when it is unfair, is the most important step because you cannot take action on something you do not accept.
What is the pity spiral?
Dan uses the phrase for the thought that a setback is not fair. He says that thinking it is not fair will not help, and that he asked himself what he expected to happen now.
How did Dan stay motivated during rehab?
He started with the drive to prove people wrong, then shifted on purpose to serving others, because he says spite fades once the goal is reached. He also set big goals, visualized them and made recovery feel like play.