To request an IEP evaluation, put your request for testing in writing and keep a dated copy. That is the advice Robyn shares after her son Jackson, now 17, struggled through school with ADHD, dyslexia and dysgraphia. She tells Jeremy Van Wert how she kept pushing, what finally helped, and what she would tell any parent whose bright child is falling behind.
ᛉKey takeaways
- Robyn says the first red flag was retention: her chatty, curious son could not remember material they had practiced many times at home.
- Jeremy and Robyn both stress asking for testing in writing, keeping a dated copy, and escalating from the principal to the district if no one answers.
- Robyn says the school could not formally diagnose ADHD or dyslexia, so her family also had Jackson tested outside the district.
- For Jackson, repetition works best: flashcards he writes himself, studying from the day a unit begins, and audiobooks he can listen to while moving.
- Robyn's advice is to keep pushing and asking questions, while letting your child own their successes and failures.
ᛃ Moments in this one
ᚠEarly signs of ADHD and dyslexia in a bright child
Robyn read and talked with her son constantly when he was small, and his pediatrician noted his large vocabulary. So she was surprised when his kindergarten teacher asked whether he knew his alphabet and numbers. She now sees that as the first red flag: a talkative, inquisitive child who could not hold on to what they had gone over many times.
Teachers told her that boys mature later and that he would catch on. First grade brought more of the same questions and little feedback. In second grade, at back-to-school night, Robyn says she left in tears because she knew he could not do the work.
A second-grade teacher noticed he could not sit still or remember the work, and that he was inverting letters. Robyn first suspected dyslexia, and ADHD came into focus later. She says the hardest part was not knowing what to ask, because you do not know what you do not know.
ᚢHow to request an IEP evaluation from your child's school
That teacher quietly opened a door by explaining that Robyn could request an individualized education program, or IEP. Robyn describes it as a legal platform for kids who need extra support to keep up, and says a parent can ask to have a child tested to see whether they qualify.
Jeremy pauses the conversation to underline the practical point. In his experience, schools often do not volunteer this, so he tells parents to make the request in writing and get it stamped at the front desk, so there is a dated record. Robyn agrees and adds that you can email the principal, take it to the district if you hear nothing, and keep pushing.
Robyn says Jackson did meet several criteria for an IEP. But she was told the school does not have the resources to formally diagnose ADHD or dyslexia, and the services were not enough for him to catch up. This is one family's experience, not legal advice, and rules vary by state and district.
ᚦTesting outside the school district
When the school's services were not enough, Robyn's family had Jackson tested outside the district. She says that testing is expensive and can be a financial hardship, but they felt they had to learn what was holding him back. Jeremy says a school has to factor in outside testing when it decides about an IEP.
Meanwhile Robyn researched what ADHD is, and even asked herself whether she had it. She came to see why a young man who was so articulate and curious could take in information yet struggle to get it back out. In her words, that in-and-out works differently for people with ADHD. If you recognize your own school years in Jackson's story, Jeremy offers ADHD coaching for high achievers and individual therapy too.
Because they live in California, they also had Jackson tested through the California Board of Education. Robyn says that gave them a 35-page document outlining all of his needs, which helped refine his plan. She notes that this extra layer may be specific to California.
ᚨBeing held back, finding his people and the district's decision
Robyn says it was a lot for a young person to be pulled out of class for testing and to watch friends move on. Jackson was held back in fourth grade and moved to a different elementary school. She describes his mood that year as more anxious and withdrawn, and says some relatives were not supportive, since many people think ADHD is something you simply grow out of.
The turning point, she says, was a school focused on teaching kids with ADHD and dyslexia. Jackson met kids like him, came out of his shell and stopped being afraid to be himself. The school also taught executive functioning tools to set students up for high school, college and work.
Jeremy points out that parents often do not know they can hire an educational advocate attorney, and that schools may not mention private placement unless one is involved. Robyn says her family worked with an advocate group whose name the district recognized, and the district agreed to pay for the school. She also says other families she knows sued their districts, lost, and paid out of pocket, and Jeremy calls her outcome the exception, not the rule.
ᚱStudy strategies for ADHD and dyslexia: flashcards, audiobooks and movement
Jackson now attends a mainstream high school, where Robyn says he is an honor student taking two honors classes. A directed studies class gives him more than a study hall: it is a study strategies class with aides and support. She calls it a main reason he has done so well.
At home, Robyn says repetition and lists are the key. He makes flashcards for nearly every class and unit, and he writes them himself, because you cannot do the work for your kid. Because he reads slowly, he has to start studying for a unit test the day the chapter opens instead of cramming at the end.
Audiobooks work well for him too, since he can pause them and walk around while he listens, and Robyn notes that movement can help with focus in ADHD. His IEP has someone read him test questions. She still insisted he keep learning to read, and now he reads for pleasure and is proud when he finishes a book on his own.
ᚲResilience, ownership and a message for parents
Robyn sees Jackson owning his future now. He wants a group project to earn an A and wants his classmates to care as much as he does. He is a junior who hopes to study film, and she calls his ability to bounce back one of the superpowers of ADHD.
Her message to struggling parents is to keep pushing and asking questions, since each question led her to more people and resources. She also says to let your child have their own wins and failures while you partner with them. Parents who want others on the same path can find one in Jeremy's Mindful Mutiny community, which offers conversation, live Fireside Chats and a course library.
If you want to talk through your own situation first, Jeremy also offers a private 30-minute conversation you can book as a consultation.
School and IEP rules vary by state and district, and this is not legal advice.
ᚨ Questions people ask
How do you request an IEP evaluation?
Jeremy and Robyn say to make the request in writing and keep a dated copy, for example stamped at the front desk. Robyn emailed the principal and escalated to the district when she did not hear back. Rules vary by state and district, so this is not legal advice.
Can a school diagnose ADHD or dyslexia?
Robyn says the school told her it did not have the resources to formally diagnose either condition, although Jackson met enough criteria for an IEP. Her family had him tested outside the district to learn more.
What can I do if my child is struggling in school?
Robyn's advice is to keep pushing, ask questions and do your own research, because the more she asked, the more resources she found. She also stresses letting your child own their successes and failures.
What study methods helped a teen with ADHD and dyslexia?
Robyn says flashcards written by Jackson himself, starting to study the day a unit begins, and audiobooks he can listen to while moving worked for him.