Among motorcycle accident survivor stories, Kijuan Amey's stands out for what came after the crash. On May 5, 2017, a car pulled out in front of the Air Force boom operator, and he woke a month later from a medically induced coma unable to see or speak. He tells Jeremy Van Wert how faith, humor and forgiveness shaped his recovery.
ᛉKey takeaways
- Kijuan says he woke from his coma feeling as if he had slept well, and only slowly learned he was in a hospital and could not see.
- Learning from his mother that the crash was not his fault brought him relief, since he had assumed he must have done something wrong.
- He describes arguing honestly with God and says things began to change once he stopped asking why him and started to trust.
- Kijuan says he forgave the driver years later, and calls forgiveness something he did for himself, not for the other man.
- In his resilience coaching, he says mindset comes first, because you cannot do anything without the mind.
ᛃ Moments in this one
ᚠA survived motorcycle accident that started as an ordinary ride
Jeremy, a motorcycle rider himself, says every rider knows the close call and the thought of what might have happened if it had been more. For Kijuan Amey, it was more. He was riding his Kawasaki Ninja in Durham, North Carolina, on May 5, 2017, a spring day he describes as beautiful.
He had gone to photograph his church, where he volunteered as web master, then rode to a lake he uses to unwind. On the way back along a two-lane highway, with music playing through his helmet, a silver Honda Accord pulled out in front of him. Kijuan does not remember it. He knows the details from the police report, which put his speed at 55.
He later heard that his options were to go into the trees, into oncoming traffic or straight ahead. Someone told him his body may have made the choice that gave him the best chance, and he says nothing in rider training prepares you for it happening for real.
ᚢWaking up from a medically induced coma unable to see
Kijuan says he came out of the coma on June 6, a month after the crash. He felt as though he were waking from a good night's sleep and assumed he was in his own bedroom. Trained by the military to listen first, he lay still and eavesdropped on his mother and girlfriend talking about a motorcycle accident, wondering who it was.
When he finally tried to open his eyes, he could not see anything, and he says nothing has changed in nearly eight years. He tried to speak but his jaw had been wired shut. His mother handed him a notepad and pen, which he describes as an impossible request for someone who could not see.
He wrote a question asking what motorcycle accident they meant. When she read it, she told him it was not a dream; it was what had happened to him. He says it hit him like a ton of bricks, and for the rest of that day he went quiet and shut down.
With no way of knowing whether he had slept two hours or two years, he says he had no clue what day it was. A day or two later, Kijuan asked what happened. He felt relief to hear it was not his fault, since he had been replaying whether he had done something wrong. Two cars behind the Accord had seen him coming.
ᚦGrieving a pilot dream and an Air Force career
Kijuan was 25, running a business, in school full-time and working in the Air Force as a boom operator, refueling aircraft in midair. He had one year left on his degree before he could become an officer and a pilot of the refueling mission, which was his goal.
In the hospital he had nightmares about being back on the plane. He says losing that path hurt, because he had been a strong flyer in the simulator. He tells of winning two simulator competitions, the last by landing the aircraft on a single engine so cleanly that his instructors went silent.
Kijuan says he had to relearn how to walk and how to use a phone with voice assistance, and that he was far thinner than before. If you or someone close to you is working through a sudden loss, the Mindful Mutiny community offers live conversation and a course library.
ᚨWrestling with faith: why me?
Kijuan has been in church since he could stand, and he says he and God have real talks. He asked why he was picked, and even joked about why it had to be a Honda Accord. Then, he says, God asked whether he was done and replied with why not you?
He describes God pointing to things in his life: playing drums with his eyes closed, never turning on lights at night, and being the best at hide-and-seek in the dark. He says the message was that he would never be left or forsaken, and that he had to trust first. After that, he says, things started happening for him.
He drew on his competitive side, the fight he built with an older brother and his sports past, and went back to the gym. He also leaned on music and drums, which he says have healing power, and on comedy. He says he does not like pity parties.
ᚱForgiving the driver, as Kijuan describes it
The driver wanted to meet him in the hospital, and Kijuan refused. He says it took a couple of years, but he forgave the man. He still has not seen him. As a believer, he says, he has to forgive, and the forgiveness is for him, not for the driver.
It came around 2018 or 2019, at a Bible study on forgiveness where the pastor's wife described something holding on to her. Kijuan prayed, asked to be freed of the heavy weight, and forgave the driver and people who had used him. He says it felt as if floodgates opened and he felt free.
Jeremy adds that forgiveness is easier to talk about than do, and that sometimes it means saying you are forgiven but not welcome at my table. For people who want one-on-one support with what they are carrying, Jeremy offers individual therapy, ADHD coaching and psychedelic integration.
ᚲResilience coaching: why mindset comes first
Today Kijuan is a keynote speaker, resilience coach and ambassador for the Air Force Wounded Warriors program. He says the first thing he addresses is mindset, because you cannot do anything without the mind. Only after that, he says, can you start to bounce back from trauma.
He tells clients that what happened to them matters too, and that nobody should treat him as the only miracle in the room. He says he opens up about his own story so that people feel safe telling theirs, and he sometimes sounds more like a therapist than a coach.
His book, Don't Focus on Why Me: From Motorcycle Accident to Miracle, is on Amazon and available on Kindle, Audible and Apple Books. His closing message is not to let your situation define who you are; you define that. If a recent change has you questioning who you are, a private 30-minute conversation with Jeremy is one place to start.
This episode describes a serious motorcycle crash, a coma and permanent vision loss, shared as one person's experience. If you are struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or your local emergency services.
ᚨ Questions people ask
What does it feel like to wake up from a coma?
Kijuan says he felt as if he had woken from a good night's sleep and did not know he was in a hospital. He heard voices first and only later learned he could not see or speak because of his injuries.
How did Kijuan Amey cope with losing his Air Force career?
He says he grieved it, with nightmares about the plane and the pilot path he had planned. He credits his faith, music, humor and a refusal to give up for helping him turn toward resilience coaching and speaking.
Why did Kijuan forgive the driver?
He says that as a believer he has to forgive and that it was a gift to himself. After praying at a Bible study around 2018 or 2019, he describes feeling free of a heavy weight.
What is resilience coaching?
In Kijuan's words, it starts with mindset, since nothing happens without the mind. He describes helping people talk through what happened to them so they can bounce back from it.
What is Kijuan Amey's book?
It is Don't Focus on Why Me: From Motorcycle Accident to Miracle. He says it is on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle, Audible and Apple Books editions.